Ano ang nangyari sa buhay ko?
May nagbago ba?
Meron ata.
Ewan ko.
Ewan ko lang.
Sana meron.
Kasi kung wala, walang kwenta yung year2008 ko.
Oha. San ka pa?
May ganun pa kong chever na iniisip nang walah.
Loser eh.
PI'm confused.
Misunderstandings are lethal.
May isang panda na nagpapapicture - nagpapakuha ng I.D. pic.HAHAHA. Funneh talaga. Lol.
"Kuya, pwedeng colored?"
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
HAHAHAHA. Funneh ah? Lol. Ohwell.
Woah. This post is funneh. :P ..or so I think. Hehe. Found this in both Bern and Giz's blogs. Wanna try it for yerselves? Click me.
► When Ana does division, there are no remainders.
► Ana can slam revolving doors.
► Ana is not only a noun, but a verb. So ano yun, "I am ana-ing you!"? HAHAHA.
► If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Ana says its beef, then it's beef. HAHAHA.
► The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Ana 3. Cancer
► Ana is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Ana does not swim. This is because when Ana enters the water, the water gets out of her way and Ana simply walks across the pool floor.
► Ana can drown a fish.
► Ana doesn't wear a watch. She decides what time it is.
► Ana can build a snowman out of rain. Try niyo, very fulfilling.
► When Ana enters a room, she doesn't turn the lights on, she turns the dark off.
► We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Ana.
► Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Ana beats all 3 at the same time.
► Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Ana's PC will crash.
► Ana uses a night light. Not because Ana is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Ana.
► Ana's tears cure cancer. Too bad she has never cried. Ever. Ooh.. SO not true. Hehe.
► Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Ana. Ana eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
► When you play Monopoly with Ana, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
► Ana can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
►Time waits for no woman. Unless that woman is Ana.
►Ana once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told. HAHAHA. I freakin' liked this one!
►Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Ana glare will liquefy your kidneys.
► When Ana sends in her taxes, she sends blank forms and includes only a picture of herself, crouched and ready to attack. Ana has not had to pay taxes, ever. Matakot ka. Lol.
► Ana eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, she uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which she uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
► In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Ana.
► The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Ana's left and right hands, her left and right feet, her belly button, her liver, and her soul.
► The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Ana
► There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Ana allows to live.
► Ana can speak Braille. Oha! HAHAHA. Kaya niyo yuuun?! XD
► Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Ana while she was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
► There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Ana.
► Ana ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
► Hellen Keller's favorite color is Ana.
► The last digit of pi is Ana. She is the end of all things.
► Ana crossed the road. No one has ever dared question her motives.
► We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Ana doesn't believe in magic. Maliban na lang kung.. :)
Ohwell. Wala na kong mapost eh. HAHAHA.
Malapit na rin magpasukan. And. I. Am. So. SO. SO. Excited.
Ooh.. Don't mind my last post. I was just.. Just wasted. Sorry.
Yeah, I understand.
I'd feel the same if something like that happens to ya. I'd get all raged up kasi you're vulnerable. Much vulnerable than I am.
Can't say anything anymore - think I've said enough. And I know that no matter how many times or whatever I tell ya, it won't matter that much.
I'll be here. Just here.